Emotional maturity in relationships and marriages (Part 2)

June 26, 2022
(2nd Service)

Emotional maturity in relationships and marriages (Part 2)

By Rev Sam Oye

Bible Reading: 1st Corinthians 13: 11

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 1 Cor 13:11(NIV).

  • Relationships would ultimately determine your joy, happiness, peace and if you are not careful, it would also determine your longevity.
    If you doubt the fact that marriage and relationship can affect how long you live, I am sure that recent happenings has shown you that you can be married to someone who can take your life.
  • All over the world, there is a high rate of spousal murder. Marriage would test your emotional resilience, it would test you to the core. When people choose to go for divorce, what they are admitting is that they have come to the end of their ability to handle what they have been handling. So, when you can’t take it anymore, you give it up. It would test what sort of a man or woman you are made up of. I have said and I will say it again, you don’t marry because you have money, house or because you have a job. You marry because you are ready.
  • To be ready means you are emotionally prepared. Your marriage may not last without working on your emotional maturity. The purpose of today is to encourage us to give up childish ways of talking, thinking, reasoning, acting, behaving and all that.

What is emotional maturity?

As we said in the first service, emotional maturity is the ability to manage your emotions under pressure or provocation. Provocation is the reflection of a person’s ignorance about your points and limits of sentiment/ sensitivity. However, there are people who would intentionally provoke you because they know your sensitivity. Whether they know your sensitivity or not, you need to know that you are responsible for your response or reaction. And in this age and time, what people usually focus on is your reaction; nobody would trace your reaction to the causative reason. You have to know that provocation can be structured to embarrass you.
Money does not make a man ready, it does not determine a man’s readiness to be married. Having houses does not determine a man’s readiness to be married, educational attainment does not qualify a person’s readiness to be married including spiritual maturity. Don’t be fooled by someone’s spirituality. The worst thing that can happen is marrying someone you like in place of someone you need. Emotional maturity is far superior in determining the outcomes of your life than any other kind of maturity.

How to know an emotionally mature man

  1. He is accountable, sensible, and responsible. There is someone that can call him to order. A headless head is a burden to any woman.
  2. He is not afraid to have difficult conversations.
  3. He does not suppress nor repress his feelings, He expresses them intelligently. Mature partners tell their partners how they feel.
  4. He listens carefully, speaks wisely, and negotiates generously. He listens, speaks, and negotiates. Stop trying to win all the time, be humble enough to let your partner’s opinion count.
  5. He is committed to learning, growing, and developing himself.
  6. He is driven by purpose and not confused.
  7. He does not compare his partner to others.
  8. He is responsible financially and would not expose you to insults from his family.

Signs of an emotionally matured woman

  1. She is emotionally connected but not emotionally dependent.
  2. She does not use aggression to get affection.
  3. She is not afraid to apologize and quick to receive correction. Feedbacks helps improvement.
  4. She knows who she is, what she is worth and not intimidated by anyone else’s uniqueness and difference.
  5. She thinks before she talks.
  6. She delays her reactions.
  7. She is treasure-driven and not pleasure-driven.
  8. She is not afraid to respect and honour the man in her life.