Breaking Negative Patterns in Relationship and Marriages (Pt 1)
Minister: Rev’d Sam Oye
Text: Exodus 25:8 (NLT)
Topic: Breaking Negative Patterns In Relationship And Marriages
It is instructive to note that no one anywhere builds without reliance on a pattern. In this Text, Moses was about to build a tabernacle, the Bible describes how God gave Moses the pattern the tabernacle would be modeled after. I don’t care to know whether you think you are not building according to any pattern, there is a pattern influencing that your design. You build either in deliberate adherence to the prescription of a particular known pattern or subconsciously on a pattern. This is why God wanted Moses to build based on the pattern He is showing him lest Moses ends up building according to a pattern he had seen in Egypt. And God showed Moses His preferred pattern to the tiniest of details. The measurement, the colours, the type of wood to use, the length of the nails used. God is a God of details.
Everyone under the sound of my voice is building according to pattern. We relate with people based on patterns. Consciously chosen patterns or patterns etched into our subconsciousness reflects in our response to daily living. It does reflect patterns we subscribe to. Your children will grow up watching you, internalizing the patterns you teach them. Your sons will relate to their own wives based on that pattern. They may even grow to dislike certain things about your attitude and would be convinced they would never repeat those actions only to replicate the same attitude because of patterns. What is it that makes us replicate behaviours we abhor? The details is in the patterns we have observed. Please do not be deceived, it matters the patterns we expose ourselves to. Patterns comes through exposure!
As a Christian, you have to know that patterns cannot be casted out with laying of hands, your work on patterns. You alter patterns. You don’t wish it away, you break them. And money will amplify all unresolved patterns. The patterns you are exposed to becomes models in the outcome of your life. Every interaction before your children is establishing a pattern of attitude or behaviour in the children. The issue with patterns is when it is time to build, we are programed to build according to pattern. Abraham lied about his wife, Isaac did same thing, Jacob lied to his father and his sons lied to him, Racheal lied to him, in fact, his father-in-law lied to him. Please note, any pattern, anything you don’t confront, you do not conquer. You will never conquer anything your father or mother did wrong that you explain away, you will repeat. If you don’t break the pattern, you can not change the outcome.
What is a Pattern?
A pattern is a repeatable or predictable way of acting or behaving and reacting. It includes acting, talking, thinking, behaving and reacting.
So, ask yourself, what is the pattern in your family? What did you see growing up? How were they talking, reacting or thinking? The difficult thing about patterns is that it settles in you through years of observation and interaction. The challenging thing about patterns is that most of them are formed within the first six (6) years of the life of a child. The personality of a child is usually formed withing age 0 and 7 years old. So, when they are not talking, they are observing. Although patterns can be negative or positive, note that there is no such thing as innocent action, everything you do will create a pattern positively or negatively in your child. The reason people replicate what they dislike is that patterns override wishes. It subjugates wishes or preferences. It will reflect itself in your life except you deliberately identify these negative pattern and alter it.